Stranger in a strange land...

I have a huge obsession with the new series of Intel commercials.

You know, the ones where they have the guy who invented something super important (of course I can’t remember what it was) walking to get some coffee and everyone swooning over him as he walks by, slow-mo style, with badass music playing in the background. The one they finish with some text that says, “Our rockstars aren’t like your rockstars” or whatever.

Those.

I crack up laughing each and every time. I’m a geek like that. Because in my world, the cool kids aren’t the most fashion-forward, or the funniest, or the most likely to adopt enough kids from around the world to make their own mini-UN. (Not that I have a problem with that, because I don’t, but while I do enjoy a good celebrity gossip session and have won contests with my knowledge on the topic, the people I TRULY admire are not likely to appear in a movie anytime soon).

In my world, the cool kids are the ones that think and act reasonably and are consequently able to accomplish a lot of stuff, all so that our kids and their kids and maybe even THEIR kids will have natural resources, ocean-style, to enjoy someday.

You’d think that thinking and acting reasonably would be something that would be the norm, especially when you’re talking about a lot of people who have managed to secure advanced degrees and jobs in well-known and somewhat-well-respected government agencies.

Yeah I couldn’t even type that with a straight face. I know better.

I know I expect too much from people. I’m surprised a lot by peoples’ behavior, even though the last 8 years of work experience have taught me enough to know better. Certain behaviors are simply unacceptable in a professional setting, as far as I’m concerned. I don’t care who does them or how often I see them, these behaviors will never be ok. But I don’t rule the world. At least, not yet.

What do you know, another completely irrelevant tangent.

Let’s get back to the topic and why I started with the awesome Intel commercials, shall we?

Things here are not like things there.

I’m aware that each region of this great country of ours has its own culture. I’ve lived in the Midwest, the Northeast, the Southeast, and the DC metro area (which is so unique that I’m calling it a region of its own). I’ve spent time in the Deep South and the West, Alaska, and even California (I don’t think I need to explain that this is also its own region – heck I’d even split it into two – a northern and southern). Each place has its unique culture, and that’s one of the things I truly love about traveling inside the US. It never fails to amaze me how one country can have so many different dialects, traditions, ways of doing things. We’re all united because we’re all American, but there’s still so much diversity to be loved and enjoyed that I really couldn’t ever tire of exploring the USA.

And then there is Hawaii.

Now I fully admit that the US came in and took this place over, claiming it for itself. I don’t entirely agree with how the whole thing went down. I’m not gonna argue, because it means I get to live here. But I can TOTALLY see why some locals are still bitter. People here don’t like the idea that they were “discovered” by Captain Cook when their ancestors actually discovered Hawaii thousands of years before, after having paddled an outrigger canoe for 2,000+ miles.

Yeah, you'd want credit for that, too.

Beginning before government involvement, missionaries from the came in and decimated the culture. They pushed the language, the religious traditions, the stories, the way of dressing, and the dancing underground. A few of these outsiders realized the importance of these traditions and allowed some of them to continue, and a few brave souls took it upon themselves to make sure their culture didn’t die out completely. For that I am grateful. Although I gotta wonder if they intended to preserve all of this just so it could be bastardized at the modern luau. I mean I get that most people want to see fire dancing (which is not Hawaiian, by the way) and say they tried poi and call it a day, and for most people the level of culture you get at a luau is just plenty, thank you very much.

But a plastic packet of French salad dressing delivered with my meal doesn’t seem particularly traditional to me. Call me crazy.

Anyways I know I’m not some kind of nouveau defender of Hawaiian culture. I’m not trying to lecture anyone, change history, or become a warrior for a culture I’m just starting to learn about, nor can I rectify the sins of those who were here many generations before my grandmother was a thought in her parents' minds. I’m an outsider. What was done was done well before my arrival and will continue long after my departure. I’ll do my part while I’m here to respect the Hawaiian culture to the best of my ability. Just because other peoples’ kids run crazy through sacred cultural sites doesn’t mean I have to behave in a disrespectful manner.

And yes, I FULLY realize that this was yet ANOTHER tangent. But you're still reading...

Many people I know have said things like, “I can’t wait to come to Hawaii and visit you and get a tour from a local!” I quickly point out that I’m not a local, and I will never, ever be one. I think sometimes people are taken aback, because in most places the word "local" just means "someone who lives there" and is pretty innocuous.

I live here, sure. I call this place home. I feel comfortable here. But I will never. EVER. be a local. And I'm really afraid of giving an impression that I don't get that.

I’ll DOUBLY never be “Hawaiian” in the same way I’ve called myself a “Chicagoan” and a “Virginian.”

So allow me to clarify what I’ve learned with a little lesson. Go go gadget teacher-mode!

“Hawaiian” – this means you have Native Hawaiian blood and is not a term to be trifled with. I get this, completely.

“Local” – if you’re a local, you were born in Hawaii and lived here for most of your life. Even if you’re a haole, you can be a local. I’m not, and never will be, a local. I know that in most places, one can be considered a local once they’ve been there a while and learned the roads, started going to the local watering holes, and picked up a bit of the local slang. Yeah, these locals aren’t like other locals. And somehow, locals can tell if you're from here or not. I haven't figure it out yet but it's kinda cool.

“Haole” (pronounced "howl-eee") – white person. This term is, for the most part, not used maliciously. It’s a statement of fact. I’ve been referred to as, “one of the haole girls” and it was just saying, “She’s with that group over there.” Some do use it as an insult, but I thankfully have not met them yet. People of mixed heritage refer to themselves as “Hapa haole” – half white – all the time. It’s just a term.

So now you’ll know what I mean if I bust these terms out for you at a later date. I’m sure there will be more lessons in the future, but this is all I can think of at the moment.

Anyways I figured if this is blog is going to contain some of my observations about living here, I may as well lay the groundwork! Maybe next time I'll talk a little bit about pidgin and REALLY confuse you :)

Actual observation for now: Starfruit straight off the tree (picked just for you by a Samoan man in a sarong) beat the pants of what you can buy for like eleventy billion dollars a pound on the mainland. Just sayin’.